There gets to be a time in everyone’s life when you are presented with the choice between being happy and being right. Sometimes this looks like the choice between being together and being right. In either situation, if you choose “being right” you’ll end up spending a long trajectory either unhappy or alone so you can come to your own conclusions about what the correct choice actually was.
Don’t worry. We are all slow learners sometimes.
The opportunity to let go of being right represents a growth point in consciousness. This impacts your career because your career is a external representation of your consciousness. You can’t get away from yourself. You will only advance to the level that your consciousness allows. And if you are focused on being right you can bet that this is going to impact your relationships on every level.
Although the topic of unconditional love seems unrelated to business, it actually isn’t.
In conflict, the key is to go unconditional. This doesn’t mean to accept whatever is given to you and become a doormat. It means to release the solidified position of being right so you can stay connected, instead. It means seeing the essential integrity of your “opponent” shining through despite the conflict you are having. By the way, in reality there is no “opponent” ~ just the person with whom you appear in that moment to be in opposition.
Keep in mind that the appearance of being in opposition is always an illusion.
All of us have suffered pain in life, and if that pain hasn’t been resolved we may get touchy, reactive, belligerent, or demanding when a situation reminds us of the original pain point. Going unconditional means seeing the other person with love regardless of the behavior they are expressing at that moment. You still have boundaries, but you set them with love and compassion.
The absence of blame, shame, and judgment represents a monumental change in how you relate to others and opens a new chapter of life in which you experience the world and everything in it as perfect, whole, and complete ~ just as you are. Does it matter if the other person is playing the same game as you? Not really. You create your part of life and let others create theirs. We all get there in the end.
So the real question is if you are willing to go unconditional in moments of conflict. It requires four things:
- A commitment to your own highest self
- Discipline and strength to stop projecting your inner demons on others
- A shift in communication patterns away from blame, shame, and judgment
- Compassion for the (inevitable) time when someone in your world messes up
Even when the path seems dark, know that transformation is always possible. Whether you are guided by faith or stubborn determination, hold the vision despite any evidence to the contrary. Believe in your ability to resolve conflict consciously, despite the odds. Take the step forwards even when you feel insecure about your ability to meet the world unconditionally. After all, it is a practice ~ yoga off the mat, if you will ~ and like all things you practice, you will get better at it over time.
In these moments when you are presented with the opportunity to choose between being right or being happy, remember the reality of the situation. And if conflict splinters into aloneness or unhappiness because you were not willing or able to “go unconditional”, pick yourself up and try again. For ultimately there is only one path, and love is the only lesson.