The focal point of artists, poets, mistrals, and mystics throughout human history, unconditional love has an unreachable essence that most of us never dare to imagine could be realized in our own lives. Our relationships with our children are as close as many of us get. But even then we are limited~ let them stay out too late, crash our car, or paint gaily all over our walls with permanent marker and the limits of our capacity can be seen in our response.
We lose our footing. We forget how to be Love. Our desire to be perfect, to be safe, and to be right gets triggered. We blame and make excuses. We look at the mistake as something that should have been avoided. We grit our teeth.
Since change is a constant factor in life unless you’re dead, we can’t choose whether or not we experience it ~ we can only choose how we respond to it. All of the above responses indicate a fixed mindset in the face of change. What would happen if we cultivated a different approach?
A growth mindset would present an entirely different set of options. Coming from this mindset, you would want to and believe you can get smarter. You would seize opportunities to grow and be interested in learning from mistakes. You would thrive when you were stretching outside of your comfort zone, even if (and most importantly, when) you crashed.
Believing these truths about yourself, you would be able to extend them to the people around you. Turns out you can’t give to others what you don’t have for yourself. Unconditional love starts within.
Is it “luck” that helps us succeed in love? Not in the slightest. Lasting love demands the ability to go unconditional, to soften your self-judgment, to allow yourself to receive an imperfect love from the other humans with whom you are in relationship. It also demands that you pay attention to who crosses your path, that you are fearless in your Yes, and that you have the strength to hold on during dark times.
The ultimate challenge for human beings, unconditional love is the final frontier. And if you can find it with one person, you can change the world.