Under times of stress, staying positive is the hardest thing to do. This is because most of us consistently retreat into the fear response in the face of uncertainty. It’s not unusual. It’s normal. But that doesn’t mean it’s helpful. 

Most of us are familiar with the list of classic fear-based behaviors: fighting, fleeing, freezing, and fawning. Fear can also look like catastrophizing, taking things personally, polarizing, blaming, overgeneralizing, and always wanting to be right. 

The core premise underneath a fear-based response is that something is wrong. Without this belief, there would be no fear. With it, in that moment we are both afraid and struggling with reality. 

But what would happen if we thought that nothing were wrong?

What new possibilities would emerge if, like Bob Ross, we thought there were no mistakes – just happy little accidents? 

What would become possible if we approached like as an observer rather than as a judge? 

Or if in the face of any given situation, we got curious instead of jumping to conclusions?

If we did those things, we wouldn’t be fighting with reality as it unfolded. We would still step forward to influence the situation to the best of our ability, but we would be doing that from a very different place in our consciousness. Not from fear, but from a sense of capacity, potential, and possibility. 

So the first thing to do under stress is to remember that fundamentally, nothing is wrong. The second is to avoid interpreting the situation through a negative lens. 

It’s easy to catch and correct obviously negative interpretations ~ like “he’s an asshole”, “she’s jealous and out to get me”, or “I’m a failure”. 

It’s more challenging to catch subtle negative interpretations, like “this is just how it is”, “I have to do it myself”, or “we just don’t want the same things.” 

If you’re going to make up a story, make it a positive one. Train yourself to see yourself and others through the lens of unconditional positive regard. When you do, you’ll open the door for alignment, creativity, and wisdom to emerge.

To your success,

Kimberly